Monday, May 17, 2010

Yay

I lost 2lbs! Woohoo!! Everyday I'm feeling better and better. Yesterday I ate...
Lunch: 1 packet low sugar oatmeal = 120 calories
Dinner: 1 tilapia filet & 1/2cup green beans = 120 calories

the total with breakfast and everything came out to = 284 calories :)

I feel great. I was looking at some of my old pictures and the difference now... it makes it all worth it!
Here are some before/after pics:



from 202lbs to 172lbs.
42 more lbs to go!!

Sunday, May 16, 2010

Egg whites

Woke up this morning and couldn't wait to weigh myself and record how much I've lost. It's become like, an obsession. But this always happens to me.. I'm always excited and then after about a week, I'm like yaaa it's working I lost weight, and then I binge. So keeping this blog will hopefully keep me on track. I'm going to pretend my entire family and all my friends are reading this, and if I fail, they'll be even more disappointed in me than they already are :P

This was my breakfast this morning:

haha I always laughed at people who were obsessed with calories this much... but that's why I got FAT.

Egg whites are starting to grow on me... I used to eat the yolk too but that's so much unneeded calories. I had 2 egg whites and 2 tablespoons of salsa = 44 calories

I lost a pound a day so far (woohoo!).. if i stay on this diet all the way through, I should reach GW1!
Now I just need to incorporate more exercise somewhere. I REALLY don't feel like going to the gym right now... but I honestly have no excuse not to. So I'm going. Woo.

Saturday, May 15, 2010

Sick

Halfway through eating my tilapia earlier, I started to feel sick and couldn't eat the rest. Which is weird, because I was starving before I made it. Now it's like every piece of food that enters my mouth, it disgusts me. Yet I'm HUNGRY. I hope this gets easier soon. But I did clean earlier! Broke a sweat. Now I just have laundry left to do... I swear, I feel like I'm doing laundry 24/7. TGL!! or whatever that guido thing is. Tanning, Gym, Laundry! hahah... which reminds me, I need a fucking tan. I haven't been this pale in so long. But there's no way I'm laying out by the pool in front of everyone with this gut. Maybe 10lbs later...

Goals

I made this blog to motivate myself into getting the body that I want. I'll post whatever diet I'm on at the time and maybe just a few thoughts of how the day went. Knowing that I have to come back here and report on how I did, hopefully it'll help.

Day 2 of the Skinny Girl Diet

Breakfast: 2 egg whites = 34 calories, 1 pickle = 0 calories
Lunch: 1 packet of low sugar maple & brown sugar oatmeal = 120 calories

& for dinner I'm going to have 1 tilapia filet = 120 calories

TOTAL: 274 calories (out of 300)

Nothing else. Just plenty of water. And cigarettes.
I feel like I have no energy today.. this whole thing is making me a little cranky and I feel bad because I've been taking it out on my boyfriend. The other day he asked me why I don't wear sun dresses lately... sigh... hopefully soon :)

Hate Factory

We'll cling onto old drama. We'll put people down when they wana move up. We won't try to reach out and heal old scars. We won't forgive or forget. We'll be the typical waste of everything. We'll talk shit. And more shit. We'll turn people against each other. We'll start an all out war.

We'll be too cool to tell someone we miss them. We'll take hearts and break them. We won't bite the hand that feeds.. we'll rip it off. We'll wish for things to happen. We'll rely on outer "powers" to help us, to lead. We'll sit back and watch it ride. We won't give 2 shits about what our friends go through. We'll be content as long as they drink with us, as long as they waste away with us. We will backstab every one in our lives.

We're an army of heaven's rejects. We'll ruin hell while we're at it. We're a very scary generation. We'll make our name haunt people.

We'll judge each other based on what we drive, what we own. We know happiness. Happiness is a green paper with an old mans face on it. We'll turn once close friends into enemies. We'll beg for people to comment our pictures. We'll feel better about ourselves. We won't stand to see someone succeed. We'll idolize our cocaine addict puppets. Our "role models" become more popular with every added mug shot. We'll fake a smile and move on. We'll turn into people we're not, just to be acknowledged.

We'll steal from each other. We'll cheat each other. We'll preach to ourselves that we don't have regrets. We'll continue our selfish ways. We'll stay negative. We'll give a shit for 90-something hours when someone dies. We'll regret not telling that person how we really felt before they left. We'll drink and shoot our insecurities away. We won't give ourselves a chance to change. Self evolving is lame. We're too perfect the way we are. We'll tell the creative bunch, "you have too much time on your hands." We won't give love a fucking chance. We'll flush trust down the toilet. No one is good enough. No one is worth it.

Our train lost its track a long time ago. We have built a hate factory. And we'll sleep inside of this machine.